The work
What this work is, and who it helps
You love your partner, but lately, it feels like you are drifting apart. Somehow you keep landing in the same argument, or the same cold silence, over and over, until it feels like you are living more like roommates than partners.
The negative cycle, not the partner
Most couples who reach out are not fighting because they have stopped caring. They are fighting because something underneath feels uncertain: Are you still there for me? Do I matter to you? When those questions go unanswered, we fall into a predictable pattern. One partner pushes for a response, the other pulls away to keep the peace, and each move makes the other worse. In couples counseling, we reframe those reactions and treat the cycle itself as the problem.
How EFT helps couples
I am trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), an attachment-based, research-supported approach to couples work. Rather than refereeing your arguments, EFT helps us name the negative cycle the two of you get caught in, slow it down, and hear the longing and fear underneath the conflict. From there, you can start reaching for each other in ways your partner can actually feel, and rebuild a secure, responsive bond.
It is not about learning to never fight again. It is about finding your way back to each other when you do.
What we will work on
- Recurring conflict and the pursue-and-withdraw cycle
- Disconnection, distance, and feeling like roommates
- Rebuilding trust after infidelity or betrayal
- Reconnecting emotionally and physically
- Navigating big transitions together
I will be honest and present with you both, and I will not take sides. I cannot promise a particular outcome, but a clearer, kinder way of being together is real and within reach for most couples I work with.